I have been having a day where I'm feeling a little defeated. I stepped on the scale yesterday and saw that I have gained 21 lbs since June of last year. Thats after losing nearly 50 lbs. So the battle began... my mind starts going and I can't even control it! I just start thinking all of these negative thoughts. I'm smart enough to know that Satan can't read your mind. It's when you start speaking it that you get yourself into trouble. But the battle between mind and spirit is still a battle none the less. And your mind can damage your spirit. Thats why the Bible tells us we have to renew our mind! Anyway, the battle rages on in my mind and as the day ended yesterday I started realizing that I had almost let my mind talk me out of my calling.
"You're not good enough." You'renot skinny enough" "You CAN'T do all things" "You aren't cut out for any of this" "You are going to fail."
Those are things I heard all day long. And it started with my weight and carried over into other areas. So this morning I get up and I'm feeling remorseful. I am repenting for the words I did say, the things I thought and I'm still feeling a little defeated. But then as I'm standing in the office just going about my day I hear that still small voice...
"I go before you EVERY morning and make all of your crooked paths straight. I have prepared you for such a time as this. You are called to do this. You are NOT the one thats defeated."
We all have bad days. We all have days where our faith is seriously put to the test. Sometimes its an attack of the enemy sometimes its a battle within ourselves. And if we let our mind continue to talk nasty to your heart then the outcome will be negative. Put it into practice what we are taught. "Out of the mouth the heart speaks" If you start speaking your negativity then it seeps straight into your heart. I know better than to let my thoughts get the better of me. I KNOW better! I am better than the person I was allowing myself to be yesterday. I am STRONGER than that. So today I am NOT conforming to what the world wants me to do. I am transforming and renewing my mind. I have come too far to be defeated by my own mind! It's okay that as a woman I am an emotional being. God made me that way but He didn't want my emotions to control who I am in Christ. And I KNOW who I am in Christ. I am MORE THAN A CONQUEROR! (lol can anyone tell I've been reading Romans today? but God knew that I needed this splash of water in my face today)
For the longest time I was not confident in who I am. Period. But I AM confident. I am confident in myself as a wife, a mother, a daughter and I'm confident in who God has called me to be. I read this passage in Romans today (and I like the way The Message Bible phrases all of it.
Romans 8:15-17 (MSG)
"This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!"
I'm on the edge of my seat :) Whats next???? Lets do this! I'm ready. God you made me ready! What ever you want me to do, I'll do it with obedience and confidence!
